Becoming a mother. By Oreke Mosheshe xx

mother moment. xx

As women and mothers we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and judgemental of others. As many of you know I come from a modelling background which can be catty but motherhood can be more catty and hurtful. Mothers have a very strong bond, a sisterhood but like any sorority you can and will meet the mean girls.  The ones that judge you for having a nanny, for not breastfeeding enough, for not sending your kids to private schools or not having a natural birth. Personally I get questioned a lot about having both my boys naturally, a lot of praise that as a model I was not too posh to push. But lets be clear my decision was not made for praise it was made as I wanted what i felt was the best for my babies the most organic entry into the world. Was it hard yes especially as I was in labour for two days with my first son, threw up constantly during  the labour and he was also back to back. The doctors wanted to do a c section with him but I refused and had to sign a document stating I was putting myself at risk. In the UK Caesearean is seen by many as a easy routine operation but it is in fact a major operation.The NHS does not help the assumption it relaxed its guidelines last year, making it easier for mothers to have Caesareans, a move integrated by demand.”the number of C-sections has doubled in Britain since 1990, and they now account for almost a quarter of all births”. Personally I felt so connected with my baby, that I knew we would be fine and I knew a natural birth was what I wanted for so many reasons that I was confident enough to overule my doctor – this I would not recommend as every situation and everyone is different.  With my second son I wad induced which this gives you harder more painful contractions but I still choose to have him naturally. With both my births I chose to go natural but I don’t judge anyone that doesn’t and in fact if I believed, me or my baby were in any real danger I would be the first to opt for a c-section or whatever drugs were needed. So for all those of you writing me to find out why I had a natual birth I did it because I believed in it and the birthing process is a natural thing. My  grandparents and their parents before them have always had natural births, women give bith in fileds till this day. The most important thing is that it has to be your choice and the right choice is what feels right to you. You are not a better mother because you choose to have your baby naturally, you are a better mother because you choose to do what you feel is right for you and your baby. So stop putting pressure on yourself. We need to be a bit kinder to each other and ourselves after all we are all on the same journey. Until next time… xx