Tag: mothers

Becoming a mother. By Oreke Mosheshe xx

Posted on by Oreke Mosheshe

As women and mothers we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and judgemental of others. As many of you know I come from a modelling background which can be catty but motherhood can be more catty and hurtful. Mothers have a very strong bond, a sisterhood but like any sorority you can and will meet the mean girls.  The ones that judge you for having a nanny, for not breastfeeding enough, for not sending your kids to private schools or not having a natural birth. Personally I get questioned a lot about having both my boys naturally, a lot of praise that as a model I was not too posh to push. But lets be clear my decision was not made for praise it was made as I wanted what i felt was the best for my babies the most organic entry into the world. Was it hard yes especially as I was in labour for two days with my first son, threw up constantly during  the labour and he was also back to back. The doctors wanted to do a c section with him but I refused and had to sign a document stating I was putting myself at risk. In the UK Caesearean is seen by many as a easy routine operation but it is in fact a major operation.The NHS does not help the assumption it relaxed its guidelines last year, making it easier for mothers to have Caesareans, a move integrated by demand.”the number of C-sections has doubled in Britain since 1990, and they now account for almost a quarter of all births”. Personally I felt so connected with my baby, that I knew we would be fine and I knew a natural birth was what I wanted for so many reasons that I was confident enough to overule my doctor – this I would not recommend as every situation and everyone is different.  With my second son I wad induced which this gives you harder more painful contractions but I still choose to have him naturally. With both my births I chose to go natural but I don’t judge anyone that doesn’t and in fact if I believed, me or my baby were in any real danger I would be the first to opt for a c-section or whatever drugs were needed. So for all those of you writing me to find out why I had a natual birth I did it because I believed in it and the birthing process is a natural thing. My  grandparents and their parents before them have always had natural births, women give bith in fileds till this day. The most important thing is that it has to be your choice and the right choice is what feels right to you. You are not a better mother because you choose to have your baby naturally, you are a better mother because you choose to do what you feel is right for you and your baby. So stop putting pressure on yourself. We need to be a bit kinder to each other and ourselves after all we are all on the same journey. Until next time… xx

 

Mothers that Rock by Oreke

Posted on by Oreke Mosheshe

Jordan P Martin rocks, she is a mother of two, a writer and an amazing Yoga teacher

What is Your View on Motherhood?
Somehow I am learning each and every day how to be a mother! I have a seven-year-old son and a six-month-old baby daughter – and it is tough physically, emotionally and mentally hence the reason why it took me six and a half years to do it again… Oh and boy the pregnancies and experiences were different… My son changed my world, he was a shining light in my life and he really did teach me the meaning of true love, and I see that same love each time he and my daughter look into each other’s eyes, and for a moment the masses of washing and the copious amounts of ironing, the sleep deprivation, the school stories of name calling, the homework, the bottle making, and the rest… well all of that vanishes because I feel a wonderful woman for having two wonderful children in my life. Those little moments are ‘motherhood’ to me.

My overall view on motherhood from my experiences is that it is challenging and it can test your sanity, but it is the purest most magical single greatest thing to do, because it puts perspective on so many things that I used to consider to be important prior to being a mum… Remember this is my opinion, because motherhood isn’t for everybody, it calls for a whole new level of patience, compassion, selflessness, self-awareness and masses of love and understanding… And all of these don’t come bottled or gifted after you squeeze the baby out – you have to focus really hard sometimes to summon these qualities when you are super tired or haven’t had a second to yourself to shower, to eat or even to pee… And Just because we can create something, doesn’t mean we have to control it, and so with my daily learning I try my best to teach them rather than preach to my children, so that hopefully they will grow up with the tools to be grounded adults with the ability to be kind and to love, and to receive kindness and love too… and I believe that this grounding comes from their childhood. So yes, motherhood is far from easy, and I refuse to hold onto any so-called notion of ‘perfect mothering’, because like most mothers I constantly question if I am doing it ‘right’, and as long as I care for and nurture them, and listen to them, and manage to brush my teeth and sometimes wash my hair, then I guess I am doing fine.

What is the Best Advice You have Received on Parenting?
I have had a close friend recently remind me that children are humans in their own right and even if they are your own children, they will show traits that you may not always like or feel comfortable with, but that we do not create them to be like us, or to live our lives through theirs. So I guess what I took from that is just as there is no such notion as ‘perfect mothering/parenting,’ there is no such thing as a perfect child, because they are learning just like we are. They will make mistakes, and they will be cheeky or naughty at times, but it is our job to listen and guide, and provide explanations and reasoning for our reactions, so they can process things in their own time. They are allowed to get angry and sad and excited just like we are. And they need to learn from their own experiences.

The philosophies of yoga have also taught me a lot about parenting that seems to work for my family and I.

What Are Your Kids’ Favourite Food?
My son loves seafood – loves it! And vegetables, he has always been an amazing eater and tries most things unless he doesn’t like the consistency. My daughter has only just gone on to formula a month and a half ago, so she loves milk hahahehe… but she enjoys her puréed sweet potato and seems happy to try most fruit and veg, because she is being all ‘grown up’ eating ‘real’/solid food.

What is Your Favourite Meal to Cook For the Family?
Okay – confession ALERT! I am not the household cook any more… Phew! Glad I got that off of my breasting-feeding-to-two-kids chest… My husband is a great chef… he enjoys it and my son cooks with him. We eat meals made from scratch… sauces and even homemade pasta if we have time. I do have a couple of meals I cook with my son… our fav is fish pie, and it is super easy! We add seafood too as he loves it. We also like avocado chocolate moose, and honey and banana muffins.

What Are the Kids’ Favorite Toys?
My son loves anything that is creative – he creates things from rubbish, often to my dismay – “PUT IT BACK IN THE BIN!” – now he opts for the recycle – phew! And we have come to an understanding that we keep his creations for a short while, take a photo and then return them back to the recycle…

We are just about to do a huge move back from Australia to the UK and he has packed his own toy bag… it has activity and puzzle books, and some Trashies, and his absolute fav things are books about gross facts, or wildlife, and he has added chess too. He loves board games.

My daughter generally ignores her plethora of soft toys, and heads for my son’s board games… Which, he (luckily) thinks is funny and tells me that he is looking forward to teaching her the word ‘poop’ so they can play Scrabble… delightful… I shall cross that bridge when it comes and can only hope that the word choice doesn’t progress… You see LEARNING each day.

Until next time xx